Last night's dream just about makes me cry. It was kind of about my childhood slipping away and everything changing. I know where this dream came from, and I will explain later. In this dream, I was with my Dad and Shalini, and we were at my old house in Zilker Park. The park people had been using the house as sort of storage, and also it had been another home at one time. There had been lots of renovations, like a whole new fireplace and bathroom and sparkly white tile in the entry room, and the room to get to the attic was all filled with junk. I just remember the place being filled with strangers from the park and thinking, "Get out of my house! You've done all these changes, and this place is falling apart!" But of course, I didn't say anything because this wasn't my home any more. I hadn't lived here for over 12 years, and it didn't belong to me. What makes me sad, is this dream is true.
When Shalini and I went over to Zilker Park to swim, I showed her the house, and let me tell you... it was all in ruins! Worse than the house in my dream. The fence was falling down with the weight of the overgrown trees, the screens on the doors were torn apart, and the shutters were dangling off the windows. Shalini and I walked up to the house and I just stared at it, thinking, "How could you let this happen to my house? It's such a magical place that should be preserved like a museum! You are ruining my childhood memories right here in front of my eyes!" After standing infront of the house for a minute, a park ranger came over to see what we were doing, and I explained to him who I was and that I had grown up here from 1990-1996. He told me that they were going to start using it as more stuff for the park rangers and I don't know why, but that just killed me. It's not meant for offices! It's meant for children to run and play and look out their bedroom window at night and see the Zilker Christmas tree glowing in the distance. It has the best upstairs attic to play hide and seek, and what about the little door in the master bedroom that you open up and see the plumbing pipes? Who will appreciate that? And the tall, narrow stairs that lead up to the attic in the laundry room- who will be there to walk up those stairs slowly and carefully as they cling on to their teddy bear? No one. This magical home gave me the best childhood anyone could ask for. I know I am one of the luckiest kids in the world to have lived where no other child has. No other children have lived there since, and that makes me sad. It has everything you could ever hope for, and I still wish that someday I could live there again. I know it is impossible, but the ultimate happiness for me would be to someday raise my own family in that very house. Or at least, be able to show them that house and say, "That's where Mommy and Aunt Mary Katherine and Grandma and Grandpa lived! I grew up there, and it was magical. More magical than the fairytales and Harry Potter books we read. More magical than Disney or even Narnia. It has some of the best memories of my life, and it will always be in my heart."
Dreamdictionary.com is an amazing website, and I love to use it! According to them, my dream means this...
To see an old, run-down house in your dream, represents your old beliefs, attitudes and how you used to think or feel. A situation in your current life may be bringing about those same old attitudes and feelings.
To dream that your house is damaged, indicates your waking concerns about the condition of your house.
In particular, to see your childhood home indicates your own desires for building a family and your family ideologies. It also reflects aspects of yourself that were prominent or developed during the time you lived in that home. You may experience some unfinished feelings that are being triggered by some waking situation.
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