Beautiful wedding

I had so much fun yesterday :) Being a bridesmaid for the first time is very exciting! Caitie was absolutely beautiful, and I wish her and Matt all the best (And little Audriana too!) :)

Just accountability stuff

Breakfast: 2 eggs, scrambled with spinach and a diced tomato

Blueberries

That was pretty much brunch, since it was at 11

Lunch: Was at work, and I don't want to eat their food, so I didn't eat anything. Unless of course, a few tastes of our candy clay we made today counts :)

Afternoon snack/late lunch:

At 5, I had a spinach salad, nothing really fancy

Dinner: at 8ish, I made pasta for dinner. Fettucini, chicken, peas, a little mozzarella on top.

Went to the gym for bout 45 minutes, and just got back. Now I put in 'Tarzan' and am gonna start some packing with that in the background! :)

Let's hope this works

I really don't want to mess up this time! I bought a scale at Target today, along with other, in my opinion, healthy foods. Just some stuff like fruits, veggies, some healthy crackers and cereal and turkey and cheese. I'm not gonna go crazy on like a vegan diet or anything, but as long as I eat sensibly, drink plenty of water, and exercise daily, I think I'll be ok. The scale will help keep me on track. Every week, I am going to post my weight and what I think affected it. I don't know if anyone will even be reading this, but it's at least going to help me stay accountable for my actions.

Today the scale said 119.5

I haven't exercised yet, but after I clean up a bit here, I'm going to go to the gym and take Sadie for a walk. I'm not sure which one I'll do first- probably the walk to warm me up. That way, I can go to the gym for at least an hour, take a shower, and just relax for the rest of the night.

Here's what my schedule will be (I think).

9:15-9:45 Sadie on walk

10:00-11:00 Gym

afterwards shower and read, so in bed by midnight. I have work at 9 in the morning, and I'll be done at 12. I will try to work out at the gym that afternoon. I usually work out at night (even though I always say I will in the morning, I'm just not really a morning person) but I think it'd be good to try working out at different times of the day to see which ones really work for me.

Bi-Polar

Uuuugh, I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm bipolar when it comes to my body image. I think I always try to be optimistic, and find something I like about my body, but when it comes to days like this, it really sucks.

I had a great time at a family event today, except when I realized, "Wow. Everyone here is really thin (except for the older moms, no offense)." I just kind of felt like the odd one out. I am NOT saying here that i'm fat, because I know that is not a healthy thing to think about yourself, I'm just saying there is room for improvement. I really want to lose 20-25 pounds. That may sound crazy, since then I would only weigh 100-95 pounds (yes world, I weigh 120 pounds) but when you're only 4'10", it means a lot. I pretty much stuck to the same weight in middle school and high school, but people have told me (like my parents) that they think I've lost weight since then. I know I lost weight in High School my Junior year, because I took action, got a gym membership at 24 hour fitness, and got in better shape. I wasn't skinny or anything by any means, but I just felt better. I was definitely more toned in my whole body, and clothes definitely felt and fit better.

I'm not gonna lie, sometimes when I see vintage movie stars or celebrities, I do wish that I could look like that. But you know, the great thing is... I can! Well, sorta. Everyone has different body types, and there's nothing I can do to change that, but I definitely CAN stand to lose weight.

I'm just gonna go ahead and spill out all my 'problem areas' in my book:

- Thighs. Let's face it here, we're women... thighs are not problems, we just have more curves than men.

- Face. I know it sounds silly, but I just really need to have a thinner face! I'm not really sure how to explain it, but it's true :P

- Stomach. This has NEVER been something I have been proud of my entire life. The thing is though, it's not like I was always a 'chubby kid'- I was REALLY skinny as a kid! but I feel like it started in puberty or something. I think I remembered learning about something in sex ed that was like, "Our bodies are changing, so it is natural to gain some weight." I think I felt that justified my getting chubbier, and maybe it does. Just kind of always remembered that.

All in all, it's not about appearance, it really is about health. I've just seen family members let their health issues take over their lives as they got older, and I am just not going to let that happen to me! I am only 21, but I don't want to be saying that when I'm 31, ya know? Like, "I'm only 31, I have plenty of time and energy to really lose all that weight!" NO. The time is now!!!! COME ON, JANE!!!! SERIOUSLY!!! You are typing this after you just had a dinner of Panda Express. Why did you do that to yourself?

I can't let something bad motivate me, it's got to be something good!

Ok, here could be a goal: My cousin is getting married September 10th (yay!) and That is 48 days from now. Do you think it is reasonable to say that I could lose 5-10 pounds by then? That's 7 weeks. I just really need to make goals!

Ok, here's what my goals could be.

September 10th weigh 112-115 pounds

October 31 (I love Halloween) weigh 106-110 pounds

December 25 (Christmas!!) weigh 100-105 pounds

What do you think?? December 25th is 5 months from now. That is 20 weeks. If I lose 1 pound in a week (which I think is totally doable!) then, I could be right on schedule! I could be looking and feeling fab to ring in the new year!!!!!

I really need to do this. I need to have some way to KNOW that this will not fail!! I've set myself up for this on several occasions, but never actually done it! PLEASE hold me accountable for this, people!! If anything, then I will really really really try to stick to it with God as my witness!

Little Stats:

Right now, at 120 lbs, my BMI is 25, which is just at the OVERWEIGHT SCALE! BOOOOO

If I weigh 100 lbs, my BMI will be 20.9 which is in the healthy range!

I really wanna call someone about this, but it's so late, I don't want to wake anyone....

I hate my sleeping patterns!!!

Just kind of realized I haven't posted in a while, so I figured it's time to update a bit.

Well, I HATE my stupid sleeping pattern I've gotten into lately, cause it SUCKS!!!! I've been trying to get out of if the past few days. Pretty much it's go to bed at 2, get up between 11 and noon. According to me, that sucks!!! I'd much rather it be 10-8, and I've tried that! I'll get ready for bed at 10 ish, try to fall asleep at 11, and even then it doesn't work. I'll either go to bed on time and still wake up at 11am, or I can't fall asleep, so I'll still have the usual 2-11 sleeping habit and it sucks.

To put it into perspective, I just woke up 30 minutes ago. I always have nice dreams though, so it's kind of hard to wake up when you don't want to.

Boring post I know. I'll try something else later maybe.

7/13/11

I kind of just snacked today pretty much.

I didn't wake up till 10-ish, so I just waited till 12 and made the same salad as yesterday (spring mix, a tomato, crushed up a few croutons, and dressing). A couple hours later, I had some chips and salsa. Couple hours after that, I had a rice-cake with peanut butter, and for dinner I made an actual meal. I grilled a turkey filet-mignon, had broccoli and peas and brown rice. I think that's all I'm gonna have today, but there is some discussion about cupcakes, so we shall see....

Not much of a blog today.

Another accountabiliy

So even though I think it's a little bit shallow to just post, "Here's what I ate today! Let's see how guilty I can make you feel?!" i'm just going to try doing this some more, just to try to stay on track.

Yesterday...

Breakfast was a rice-cake with peanut butter, fruit salad and a little bit of orange juice. Lunch was some pita crackers with a slice of cheddar cheese. Afternoon snack was chips and salsa and dinner was leftovers from dinner at Uno's the night before.

Today...

Breakfast was a rice-cake with peanut butter and half a banana on top. Rest of banana and fruit salad on the side. Didn't have lunch, but had a slice of cheddar cheese for a snack at about 3ish. Came home for a late dinner snack/very late lunch and made a salad. It was spring mix, with a whole tomato cut up, a few croutons crushed up to add some crunch, and a little bit of ranch dressing to keep it all together. I was going to go to Cafe Brazil for a free dinner-promo they had going on, but they were all out :( Kinda ruined my dinner plans, so I just kind of snacked throughout the night. I had some chips and salsa, yogurt and strawberries, then went on a quick walk with Sadie and a workout. Afterwards I had some cherries and since I KNEW what I wanted, I had a little bit of chocolate milk. It was probably 1/3 cup or something, so it wasn't that much.

Good day. Sleep is definitely needed, cause i'm beat!

What a blast!

I had a great time today! I ended up sleeping in far too long than I would have liked, but oh well! After a great late morning of reading and walking Sadie, I made lunch, which since I hadn't gone to the store yet, was just a baked sweet potato. (I couldn't remember if that one was mine or my room mate's since we both buy them, so I went ahead and got her a fresh one at the store this afternoon, just in case). After getting groceries at the store, my friend Tara met me at the apartment to catch up, and then go out to dinner downtown with our friend Erin! It was a great time to just catch up with your buddies, drink some pomegranate margaritas, and then browse through the Barnes and Noble to walk it off before driving :P We had such a delicious dinner at Uno's and Tara and I never had been there before! I got a half order of fettucini with chicken, lemon, broccoli and pesto, but I only finished half of it and took the rest home for tomorrow. I had a few bites of the breadstick, but I wasn't there for the food. The pomegranate margarita was what really tasted good and it was even better with friends to share it with. For dessert we all split a delicious reeses ice-cream dessert that was to die for! Like I said- this evening was amazing, and it makes me so grateful to know that I have these great friends in my life. I love them with all my heart, and know that they will be with me forever.

Deliciousness

It's hard to eat healthy when am home, honestly. Especially when you're on vacation in Leakey where all you do is swim, lounge in the river, read, and eat! I've been trying to get back on track. Like lastnight, we had a barbeque for the 4th, and I had a small piece of grilled chicken, steamed green beans, a very small corn on the cob with no butter or anything and a bunch of grapes. It didn't really help that we made homemade cinnamon-peach ice cream that was AMAZING!

But what I really wanted to post about was the dinner mom and dad just brought me from East Side Diner- it was DELISH!

It was a half order of their salad, and even though it seems really simple, it was really tasty.

Dark, leafy greens

Granny Smith Apple chunks

pecans and almonds

some sort of feta cheese stuff

raspberry vinagrette

and a small cornbread that probably just cancels all that good stuff out.

And a little side-note...

I mowed the lawn for the first time in my entire life today!!! I really liked it! It really is like vaccuming, just outside. I mowed the lawn with the non-electric one when I was a kid sometimes, but now I have really upgraded to the one dad uses! :) It was fun, and it was nice to find something that I enjoy that is also productive.