I think i'm happy for her, it just reiterates to myself what a disappointment I am. I am trying so freaking hard and I feel like i'm always behind or below where I should be.
I'm feeling really mad right now, and even though it's only typed up, i'm going to try not to swear. So, i'm going to use the 'Fantastic Mr. Fox' approach and just substitute the cuss words.
Why the cuss can't I do this. I'm trying. I know these are two different schools, I just feel so cussing stupid when you compare the two together. I'm not usually like this!!! I want to be that one that gets straight A's, that the parents can say their proud of and really mean it. I'm not cussing stupid. I want to show myself that I can do this, so now i'm going to continue to study my cuss off for the rest of the day and keep working until I get a freaking A in this goshdarn class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I JUST FEEL SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!!!
I studied my butt off for the wrong lesson today in class, so I pretty much bombed the quiz. I literally wanted to jump up and scream with rage when I saw the quiz. 'What the cuss is this????? I didn't study for this?????' Why the heck did I study my butt off for something that I wasn't even supposed to?!?!?! COME ON!!!! WORK WITH ME HERE A LITTLE!!!!
SERIOUSLY. HERE WILL BE MY SCHEDULE FOR THE DAY
2:15-5:15 Study
5:15-6:00 Nap
6:00-7:00 Study
7:00-8:00 Dinner
8:00-9:30 Study
9:30-10:30 Pilates (I gotta have a little break!)
10:30-11:30 Study
11:30 Ready for bed
12:00 Sleep and get up at 7 to review before 9am test.
CUSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ReplyDeleteIt's good to CUSS, as long as you remember to breathe, too. Anger is perfectly natural but be careful cause it can be a stumbling block. You are AWESOME, okay? Don't compare yourself to other people. They have their own journeys and failings.
ReplyDelete1) Of course you're upset about Mary Katherine! You're human. Not a justification, but the truth.
2) IT WILL BE MORE THAN OKAY.
3) You are better than Mary Katherine at so many things. Think about those things. Focus on what you excel at when you're down.
4) You did not almost fail out, please. All As and Bs except for government, remember?
you're totally right, it really is a major stumbling block. and you're right again: I am NOT practically failing out of college! I am a good student. I just really need to work on keeping things in perspective.
ReplyDelete