I don't want to transfer. I keep changing my mind back and forth about it, but I just don't. I hate how much money this costs, and I hate that I keep failing classes here. But when I wandered the halls of the TCU library for the umpteenth time today, I really realized how much I'd miss it here. I feel much more at home here than I have felt in a long time. My home in Austin is mostly just a place to feel uncomfortable and out of place. Here, I might sometimes feel a little bit like that, and it sucks, but it's better.
If only I got in the college of Ed. this would all be fine. Come on, people, let me in!!!!!! For the love of God, I want this, and whether you think so or not, I can succeed, and I will!!!!!!! I have been here for two years, and I don't want to transfer AGAIN. I also don't really want to be here for Child Development knowing it's something I'd be 'fine' with. I'm not going to make my parents pay a crapload of tuition for something I don't really want.
Now i'm going to try to go to sleep again. (I'm not saying this in a suicidal metaphor in any way!!!) I want to be able to just peacefully go to sleep and not have to worry about life. I know that this is part of it, and it's not meant to be easy, but I just want peace. relaxation. and oh yeah, Sadie. She's not here with me for the Maymester, and even though I know it's for the best, I miss her a ton!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love that darn dog so much, haha. I've been noticing her aging in the face lately, and it makes me sad. I just can't ever imagine what it'd be like without her. I need her right now to keep me sane.
Sleep.
You're back at TCU again? That was fast.
ReplyDeleteSlow down. Breathe. It will be okay! I know I say it all the time and it seems like an excuse of an answer.. but this is happening for a reason! Move on with your life because it will work out - maybe not exactly how you want it to or how you planned for it to, but you'll get to where you need to be. I promise.
It starts with a good attitude (not that you have a bad one!). Take the time you need to be upset, but then reroute your life course to one of joy and don't take no for an answer!!
Thanks.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm already in summer school for May. It's pretty intense, but I can do it. I think I'm going to be doing alot of random blog posts for a while :)
And can you PLEASE help me with my layout and background and everything??? I honestly wouldn't mind giving you the background I want and my password and everything and just let you work your blogging magic!